When you find yourself with a problem, you should always step back, and ask yourself how you contributed to that problem.
That right there is some of the advice that I’ve ever received (courtesy of my mother). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this during my 20 years on this Earth, but it’s definitely one of the things that has stuck with me. It’s a great thing to keep in mind during a conflict, but as I grow older, I find myself stepping back and performing these “self-checks” even when I’m not caught up in something. After all, why should I wait until the crap hits the fan to step back and assess the situation? Isn’t it smarter to draw myself away and perform a self-check when I first realize that there’s a possibility of things going left?
Now, I have to be honest and admit that I don’t always do it that way; I might react, and then realize later on that I was dead wrong, or that I actually had a hand in helping it get to that point. This realization is always the hardest pill to swallow, and is usually followed by the internal debate on whether or not to apologize (more on pride later). To avoid those situations, I try to perform self-checks regularly. They’re not elaborate, self-enlightening sessions or anything like that, but just something that I do in order to keep it 100 with myself, because it’s far too easy for me to believe that I’m right and that somebody else is wrong. In fact, I’m almost always right in my head, and it isn’t until I step back, look at a situation from all angles, and take stock of my feelings that I can see my faults and what I need to work on. And at the end of the day, that’s what a good self-checkup is all about: working on myself, because when it’s all said and done, I’m only accountable for my actions. Point. Blank. Period.
I know that this post is random as heck. I actually didn’t even plan on posting anytime soon, but something came up that warranted a good self-check moment, so I decided to write about it. But I hope that you guys enjoy this piece, along with the rest of your night.
Until next time…
“Are you always this serious?”
“Are you always this quiet?”
I literally hategetting asked these questions. They almost always come from a coworker, and I’m usually caught off guard because of that. I’m all for having fun at work (and I do on occasion), but I don’t see why people expect me to come to work and just unload every ounce of my personality. In fact, I feel like it’s pretty impractical to expect anyone to showcase all of themselves at any given time. Of course I’m not like this during every waking hour of my life; I have friends, family, and a sense of humor. My life is pretty colorful, and if you catch me on the right day, you might be surprised at what you see. But like a lot people, I’ve learned to save aspects of my personality for certain places and certain individuals because I don’t always find it easy to open up to people that I don’t know too well. Because of this, I usually come across as quiet or serious, but that certainly isn’t the extent of who I am.
I, like most living, breathing human beings, am multifaceted.
This doesn’t mean that I’m fake or bipolar (Google “Face Negotiation Theory” if you’re truly interested), but it does mean that there’s more to me than meets the eye; simply take me for face value, and you risk walking away with a false idea of who I am as a person.
I could easily take this opportunity to segue into communication theories and why I think that they’re important to learn about (another post for another day), but that would take us beyond the point of this post, and I’m also sure that you guys probably wouldn’t want to read about that. Instead, I’ll leave you all with this: people are multifaceted by nature, which is something that we often times don’t consider when coming into contact with others. This leads us to formulate rash assumptions based on what little we perceive, which in all reality, is pretty unfair. When we do this (and we all do this), we can miss out on truly getting to know people, many of whom are more complex, diverse, and interesting than we could ever imagine.
One of the (many) annoying things that a lot of older people told me when I graduated high school was that time was getting ready to speed up, and before I knew it, I’d be in a retirement home, or something along those lines. Of course, no 18-year old wants to hear that when they’re on the verge of graduating and beginning what might be the best part of their life journey, so I disregarded that idea. Now fast-forward nearly two years, and I find myself on the verge of turning 20. It feels like I just started college as a freshman yesterday, but in reality, I’m getting ready to begin my junior year of college in a few months. So much has happened in the last two or so years that I get overwhelmed whenever I reflect on it. I’ve done so much growing, and while I still have a lot more to do, I’m finally at a place where I’m completely happy with myself as a person. I’ve met some of the most amazing people ever, and I’ve been blessed to call some of them my friends. I’ve grown closer to God, and I feel like I’m discovering more of His plan for me everyday. Life is truly a great gift, and I have to remind myself of that everyday.
Now of course, the last two years of my life hasn’t been all peachy keen. I have my share of regrets that I’m working through, which ultimately means coming to terms with what’s meant to be and what isn’t. This isn’t at all easy or fun, but I’m working on keeping my eyes focused on the “bigger picture” even though it’s not always visible at the moment. While they remain rather unpleasant right now, I know that every regret of mine will eventually serve as a lesson down the road and knowing this tends to give me some sense of relief whenever I begin take inventory of my various mistakes and failures.
Sure, you can say that I’m being extra right now. Turning 20 isn’t really considered important when everybody is focused on turning 21, but I truly believe that this is a milestone for me in a sense. A new era of my life is getting ready to begin, and I actually feel like I’m ready for it. I know who I am now, and I’m confident in this person that I’ve been in the process of becoming for nearly twenty years. This is truly a great time for me, and I can’t wait to see what else God has in store for me.
Here’s to 20…21 can wait.
Anonymous asked: What makes you want to start this "written journey" and a blog?
Well as you all know, I love to write, and having a personal blog was always something that I’ve thought about. I noticed that a lot of my recent posts have been written and rather personal, so I made the decision to purchase my domain name and convert my Tumblr page into a personal blog.
I just wanna be able to document my life since this is an exciting time for me, and I hope that you all enjoy following it.
It’s official, you guys.
Last night I purchased my first domain name, and I’m officially turning this page into my personal blog. It’s still gonna have the same name and everything, but I’m no longer going to be reblogging posts. From now on, all of my posts will be written, (much like the ones that I’ve been doing recently) with occasional anonymous Q&A’s because I love those.
I understand if some of you unfollow me at this point just because you’re not interested in reading about my life, but for those of you who decide to stay, I want to issue a sincere “thank you”. I’m not gonna be unfollowing any of you, so please feel free to stick around and follow me on this journey.
DISCLAIMER: This isn’t THE BLOG that I’ve been talking about for the past couple of months! This is just me turning my Tumblr page into my own website where I’ll write personal posts, and maybe upload some pics from time-to-time. THAT BLOG is still in the works, and I hope to have it launched before the summertime!
Here’s to my written journey!
The other day, somebody asked me what my biggest regret was. It was my first time being asked that question, but not the first time that I had played around with the idea of regrets in my head…
It seems like people are always talking about regrets and why you should live without them, but I kind’ve struggle with that whole idea. I mean, I don’t want to have regrets in my life, but the fact is that I do, and sometimes I don’t know how I could possibly live a life sans regrets when I constantly do things that I wish I hadn’t, or miss out on opportunities that I should’ve taken advantage of. Luckily, I don’t have a box full of life regrets hiding under my bed or anything, but when I’m honest with myself, I can admit that I do have some.
Now of course, there’s the idea that if it was meant to be then it would be, but sometimes that isn’t always as comforting as you imagine it to be. Sometimes, accepting the fact that something isn’t meant to be is the hardest part about regrets, and I think that I might be learning that, or at least becoming more comfortable with it now. I guess this is just a part of learning to trust God’s ultimate plan for me…………….
The best relationships start off as friendships.
Now I’m not here to find a flaw with this idea, because I really do believe it, but I do have my doubts and questions…Like how does a friendship effectively make the transition to a relationship? Is there an inevitable amount of awkwardness that takes place while you switch gears, or is it a relatively smooth process? Or how do you go on a date for the first time with a friend? What do you talk about on a date that differentiates it from a friendly hangout?
I know that this post is random, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.
Feel free to PLEASE reply to this with post with your thoughts. I’m interested in hearing what you all have to say about this topic.
(Part of) My problem is that I care entirely too much.
When I see friends screwing up, I get way too wrapped up in it, and I end up stressing myself out as a result.